So I made a "Smart" playlist on my iTunes with songs from the 80s... Wham, Prince, Vanity & Appolonia, Madonna, the Labyrinth soundtrack... and I think back to where I was and what I was doing... and it's not always very pretty... but parts of it are golden...
The 80s were insane...
Driving in a big ol' Cadillac for hours and hours around the state listening to Genesis and talking and talking and talking; falling asleep to the sound of whatever video game was our current obsession or endless back-rubs; having nightmares and reaching out to find a hand to hold all night; spending hours creating maps and myths and lunar cycles for worlds no one ever played in; playing RPGs but preferring to spend my time creating the character and drawing her, instead of actually playing...
Those years shaped my life so much. And I've lost the friendships of nearly all those people that I called my friends then. I burned bridges. It's hard to think of the hopes and expectations I had back then. Many of them I gave up years ago. My life is in a completely different place now.
I wanted marriage, a man to take care of me, I wanted to write, draw, create, have babies, not have a 9 to 5 desk job... I forced my way headlong into relationships, and pretty well fucked them all up in the end. I don't regret anything but the endings, and I still have such love for those people and events that created who I am now.
Still, it's nothing like what I have now... Sweet memories, but I'd rather savor the present...
Thanks for the post. I love to journal as well as visual journaling is great. Hope that your getting all the creativity and passion you have out of your Creativity Boot Camp! www.adayinthelifeofadjswife@blogspot.com
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