Photo Friday: Warm Light

My office is not only beautiful this morning, but it smells so lovely!

BlogCarnival: Kindergarten?

Sandy@PunkyJane.com gives us the topic: 1) School time! What is your favorite memory from kindergarten or taking your kids to kindergarten?

I could come up with some glib answer about the one memory I have from Kindergarten: making butter from heavy cream in a little margarine tubs that we passed around the circle and each shook a little, but truthfully I don't remember much more than that.

So how about my memories of taking my kids to kindergarten?  Um... well... the kids are unschooled, (I wrote about what that is here.), and even if they weren't, I came into the picture after Lia, our youngest, would have been first grade.

I am a substitute teacher though, and have spent many hours in Kindergarten classrooms, as an assistant and as the teacher.  My feelings are ambivalent about it though.  I love being with the little kids.  I love playing with them.  I love getting hugs from them.  I love their creativity and enthusiasm for everything!  But I do not like how they are treated in the name of Education.

One of my first experiences in a Kindergarten classroom was in an inclusion room, where several of the students were special education students, with autism or Down syndrome, and others were just average students.  The children had made leprechauns for Parent Night, that had the arms & legs glued onto the body, but some weren't glued on in the appropriate location.  But instead of leaving them as the children had made them, or working with the child while they were doing it to help them get it "right" (according to the teacher), we were pulling the arms & legs off and gluing them back on in the right places; so they'd all look nice in the hall when the parents came.

In other classrooms and schools, the teachers weren't so discrete about making the children do things RIGHT.  They made a big huge deal about getting the kids to draw people that looked right, and getting things colored in the appropriate colors.  I can understand if it's part of a lesson, knowing that pumpkins are orange and apples are red, but when they're just drawing in their daily journal?  If you can say, oh how creative!  What color are pickles really?  And get a correct response, why make them do it over if they've decided pink was the color of the day?

And why on earth do they need to have homework!?  Yes, several of the Kindergarten classrooms I am in have their students carrying a folder home with "work" they didn't complete, expecting it to come back the next day, punishing the child when it doesn't.

These are children.  They should be following their own interests, learning by curiosity and play, not being forced to sit still and do worksheets and homework.

I know, I've gone off on a tirade, and will climb down off my soapbox now.  I only hope more people will take a closer look at their children's *education* and question if there isn't a better way....

Amazing

Galactic Center of Milky Way Rises over Texas Star Party from William Castleman on Vimeo.

Thank you all for your good luck vibes this morning... I think I did ok, but I won't know til the end of next week; so keep those fingers crossed...

WISH ME LUCK

I have a job interview tomorrow morning for a job I think I would *really* enjoy! Think good thoughts!

iTC: The Final Days

Goals:

1. Take one step towards safety.


2. Create something every day.

So how did I do?

Take one step towards safety:
During the past week, I've worked hard to refrain from spending. I realize this doesn't seem actively moving toward safety for our family, but it's a big part of it. We seriously discussed places that we could realistically move to, and worked on the job apps for those school districts. And there was more serious discussion and soul searching on how to make a living making art!

Create something every day:
I started a challenge with a friend to do a figure study sketch once per day for the next week. If you'd like to check them out, there are here, but remember they are figure studies and are naked! I've also gotten some new clay and created some new pieces for Faerie Garden Fancies, as well as finished up a commissioned piece, including a small video of its creation. Now if only I could get it to save correctly so I can upload it!

So, how were your final iCing Transformation Days?

The iCiNG Transformation Challenge is brought to you by Gala Darling!

What a day! Or two!

Monday was not a good day. The weekend had been unbearably hot, and Monday was just as bad. Schools are not generally air conditioned up here. The computer lab, staff room, and offices usually are though. Work wasn't too bad though. I was in the middle school and had only 3 blocks to teach. I had a class in the morning, followed by a break. The room hadn't gotten too hot for that block, and the break in the lounge actually chilled me; so going back to the room was nice. Then I had another class, followed by another little break, and the last block of the day was an awards ceremony in the air conditioned auditorium. Very nice; we even got cookies and lemonade afterward. ^_^

After work, the heat was terrible, and since I had to go to Wal-mart to pick up my prescriptions, we decided we would all go and spend some time browsing in air conditioned comfort. On the way home, I put my last $3 in the gas tank. (Thank heavens payday is tomorrow!) We came home to find a note in the door from the LL asking us to call, but before we could even get the BombPops in the freezer, he and "his daughter's boyfriend" pulled up. He complained to us about the lawn not being mowed and a bunch of other petty things, and I complained back to him about his not calling first, even refuting his claim that he "couldn't find" our number: phone book, information, our checks??? *livid* And I stood up to him about other things too, which really surprized me... Of course, it left all of us upset for the rest of the night and we didn't sleep well from the aftermath, heat, and worry...

Since the LL claimed he was coming on Tuesday to make some repairs, I stayed home from work so Jacqueline wouldn't have to deal with him alone. About 11 the sun disappeared and the wind picked up and it started to thunder and lightning. It wasn't long before the sky opened and the rain poured down! Of course this meant the LL would likely not be coming, but it also knocked out our phone (digital) and internet (high speed) for several hours. The sky cleared but the temps stayed cool and our cable came back on, just in time for Lia & Ant to be called to their friends' to play. We made them take umbrellas and warned them that because of the gas situation they'd be on their own for getting home, or would need to stay put til the storm passed if it started up again. And it did, but not nearly so bad. However, bad enough to take out our power, only about 10 minutes after getting our cable back! ;-;;;

After Esme gloated for about a half an hour because the laptop had battery power and she could still play on it, the battery ran dead and the 4 of us, Esme, JoAnn, Jacqueline, and I, all played Trivial Pursuit 90s, which is HARD since neither Jacqueline nor I kept that much on trends and news and things in the 90s (even less so now I think) and the girls were only babies! LOL! But we ended when everyone had one pie piece (I was the last sadly), and Jacqueline & I did some reading before it got too dark. Then we headed outside to hear a bird better (which we never did hear) and then had another temporary crisis when we came back in that I'm just not gonna go into... it's over.

Today is a new day. The sun is out. The weather is temperate. And everything is going to be OK.

Promise, 6/10/08

Summer sometimes isn't the greatest...

Oh. Em. Gee. It is so hot today... Over 90. Ok so that's in the house, but over 80 outside!

So after working for 3 hours doing tedious reading lessons in a room that had to be over 90 (the other reading teachers wouldn't even open the window and there is no A/C!!!), when I got home we headed straight for the lake. The water level is still pretty high; so we had to cross a long stretch of slippery rock in ankle to knee deep water, before we could even attempt to get in. And when we got there, we decided it might just be ok to sit on the edge of the ledge, which made it waist-deep water, with our toes in the FRIGID deeper ice water. But the girls just splashed right in at their usual spot and dipped themselves several times before declaring it more fun to sun themselves like lizards on the rocks and roleplay their Organization IV characters (based on Org. XIII in Kingdom Hearts).

Ant jumped in too this time, but got right out and sat beside us (on the dry rocks) discussing the pros and cons of getting in. Eventually, emboldened by a group of college or high school boys who just charged in, I decided I *had* to dive in. So I did a quick affirmation: I am an Arctic Mermaid! Cold water has no effect on me! I am insulated! *giggle* Like a sea lion! :::patting thighs::: And I did it! And it was glorious! And farking cold too! But I made myself go back under after my initial dive to swim back. I wanted to swim forever! However, like Ant, I immediately got right out and sat beside Jacqueline warming myself in the sun. We discussed the pros and cons some more, since now I also had input, and it was decided that since Jacqueline had made herself shivery cold just dangling her feet, that it was unnecessary for her to get all the way in. So we made our way back across the slippery rocks and eventually back home.

Sadly, little Dork-a-boo went off to her godmother's for the weekend soon after. :( She will be missed.

Soon after that, Jacqueline headed outside to change the laundry on the line. I peeked out the window and she looked very hot and tired, so I asked if she wanted my help. She said no way, because she was covered with mosquitoes, and she is not allergic. :P When she came in, she told me she was all bumpy, but of course I was distracted and didn't even look, but later when she was in the front cooking the hot dogs, not only could I see the mosquitoes on her (and in a huge cloud between me & her), but I could see all her bumps! ;-; And yet they don't itch her at all... which of course makes me very jealous... of course she still feels them on her and sucking her blood! /fake-Dracula-voice

And even though she tried to protect me from them, they still get me. I am all covered with itchy little red bumps. And every time I feel a hair brush my arm or shoulder, or feel a little prickly from the sun or a droplet of sweat, I think it's a mosquito and I get all jumpy which makes me itch even worse... I remember it not effecting me so much. Not noticing. But now, I remember *why* I like the cooler weather, even though the whole while I complain that I wish it was warm enough to swim... *whine* We either need to move where it's warm enough to swim more often, get our own pool (which would be warm enough already), or get a membership to an indoor pool...

Anyway, I have tons of email to read, and bunches of pages on LJ and other blogs I want to read, and I think none of it is going to get done tonight because I need to shower (4th time today) and then get some sleep...

Thunderstorms etc.

Last night we had our first thunderstorm of the season. The air was hot and muggy, and Jacqueline & I slept with no covers. We tried to leave both windows open, but I was afraid of rain coming in; so we closed them most of the way. In the middle of the night (4am?), the thunder and lightening woke us. Great rolling booms and sharp cracks, flashes and pops, strobe lights lighting up the room... The power went off and on, and reset my clock to flashing. I have not ever really been afraid of storms, but sometimes, like last night, I feel the fear in my belly, and cuddle closer to my lover, despite the heat, before falling back to sleep.

Needless to say, this morning I am once again not well-rested. This time it's not my fault though... Without the alarm set, and being so tired, I took my temp later than usual. I guess it doesn't matter much since it's been screwy all month. I am glad to only have a half day today. I got to sleep a little later. And I got to have a nice leisurely morning and get some stuff done...

Yesterday, I worked for the district with the disrespectful, totally out of control students. It was so bad, I had to call the principal to come get control of the class. I called the sub-caller and told her to take me off her list for the rest of the school year. I'll decide over the summer if I really want to go back there. I like the teachers, it's close to home, I did my student teaching there, and I used to think I wanted to work there, but every time I've subbed, it's been a bad experience. I don't want to go over it all... it was bad. So I was lucky to get a call for the half-day today at a different district. Of course then I got several calls for a full day at the further away district that pays much better... But it's first come, first serve right now. This close to the end of the year, I worry that not so many teachers will be needing subs.

In other news:
I am a Dreamy Idealist.

Adjectives which describe your type (bolded those that I feel were particularly accurate)
introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative

Randomness

It has been a long tiring week for me... Ok, so it was only 3 days of actual work, but I still feel like I shoved the whole 5 days into those three.

Wednesday I covered collaboration meetings (where all the teachers in one grade get together to discuss curriculum, etc.) and spent 1/2 a day in 5th grade and the other 1/2 in 4th. They really weren't too bad at all.

Thursday I covered CSE meetings. (No I really am not sure what the CSE stands for, but they are the meetings between the classroom teachers, special ed teachers, parents, and administrators to discuss the student's progress and goals, etc. ETA: OMG they have rules that include the offering of beverages: CSE - During the Meeting) I spent about 30 minutes in each room basically babysitting until the teacher returned. Again not too bad.

And yesterday I got a nice change of pace and worked in the library all day. Only 3 classes at the end of the day, K, 1st, and 3rd, only for about 40-45 mins each. The morning was spent chit chatting with the other librarian, checking shelves to make sure they were in order, and scanning books in & out for a few random students. Of course those 3 classes were *SO* out of control; I was glad when they left and the library was quiet again...

Of course this means a short paycheck. And for last week too, because I didn't work Thursday or Friday. And there's so little time left in the school year, I assume a lot of teachers are *not* going to need subs... Hopefully I can find something for the summer that doesn't mess up our plans for fun!

Speaking of money.... Here are a few things from AC; the first is from Jacqueline and I have been waiting FOREVER for it to post so I could read it! The second is a short story from Jaie which is very good IMHO.

10 Films to Teach World War I in the Social Studies Classroom
Joleene's Mama (Hmmm... the end of the story's been cut off... :\ )

So we got 2 chairs and a king-sized mattress from FreeCycle the other day, and Jacqueline and the kids did a huge amount of work cleaning up the living room and moving our old sofa out. I can't wait to finish up all the organizing; it looks great so far! Today's project is to make room for the mattress in here - hehehe... I'm off!

Monday? No, Tuesday...

Note: This was posted at nearly 8pm, not whatever time blogger says...

It's not been a bad day but it hasn't been a very good one... 

I felt sick and tired and fat and ugly this morning, but I pushed it aside and just dealt; I had to go to work.  Jacqueline made my morning run ever so smoothly and before I knew it, I was heading to the car.  And what should await me there?  One very panicky cat!  He had been shut in all night long.  Needless to say, he peed.  And the car REEKED!  Thankfully it was warm enough to drive to school with the windows down without freezing and looking suspicious.  I applied some strong clean smelling scented oil to my wrists and headed to work.

Work seemed to go ok at first.  I got to my classroom (I was to be the TA in a 3rd grade inclusion class) and the door was unlocked, but the other teacher wasn't around.  So I found the Ta's desk and searched for some plans... nothing but a general description.  But then the other teacher arrived, and it was all good!  I would be working with the awesome dude with the polite class (seriously, he's working the manners thing overtime with them!), and he is such a nice guy!  So the children arrived and they introduced themselves to me:

"Hi, I'm Jake!" *holding out hand*
"Good morning, Jake!  You can call me Mrs. B." *shakes hand*
"Nice meeting you!"
"Nice meeting you, too!"

Then we went down to Morning Express (a short assembly for announcements, awards, etc.), and after that, my perfect morning crumbled.  The TA was there; she had asked for the sub for tomorrow when her Dr's appointment is, not today, and the only reason she wasn't there first thing was because of an early morning meeting.  So I head down to the office to find out where they want me until my afternoon placement with a different teacher.

Of course the office staff is busy, as they always are, with calls and teachers and students coming in and out, and half an hour later, the principal of all people comes to walk down the hall with me, going from room to room to see if they needed help.  Eventually we came to the reading room, where there were 2 other subs, and of course they said yes to the principal; any sub would!  So I got to "help" the other 2 subs do simple reading activities with the 8-10 students who were there.  Of course, after about 45 minutes they had a planning period and that took up nearly the rest of the morning!  I did however get to work with a boy who probably doesn't remember me, but who is actually my ex-husband's cousin.  It's interesting to see how he's grown, and a little sad that he's in the slow reading group.

At noon I headed to my afternoon placement, and again found an empty classroom.  I noticed that there was a note for the sub, but it was for tomorrow and for all day.  It did however explain that kids were in specials at the moment, so I headed down to the office to make sure I really *was* supposed to be subbing for her this afternoon as well.  They did reassure me that I was indeed subbing for her, and I was lucky to show up right when her TA walked into the office, as for the next hour and 20 minutes the kids would be at specials and then lunch, and then she, the TA, would be handling the afternoon.

So I headed to the faculty lounge and ate the lovely lunch Jacqueline packed for me while perusing a book.  After a while the room got noisy, so I grabbed the paper instead, where I discovered that someone I went to elementary school with is now superintendent of the school district my dad lives in, a place I could conceivably work!  I don't know why, but I find that scary, and it makes me just a little disappointed in myself.  I suppose just because he makes more money and has become an *important* person, it doesn't make me less of a person, or less important.

At the appropriate time I headed upstairs to the classroom, just before the kids, and well before the TA.  With no plans and no idea what was supposed to be going on, I just let the kids do what they wanted, and they were pretty well behaved.  A few minutes later the TA came in and told them that until the Math Group comes back (a group that must get pulled during "activity time" after lunch) it was to be a quiet work time, and if there was talking during quiet work time, there would be no going outside during recess at the end of the day.

Everything was going fine until D came back to class, which happened to coincide with the TA vanishing.  I have no clue where she went, I was helping a student with some work.  D, however, has serious anger issues.  He came in loud, slammed his chair around, started talking loudly to his classmates, and disrupting everyone.  I wandered closer to his desk (that proximity thing really does work for some students) and he just got louder.  So I explained that we were having a quiet work time right now, and told him what things he should be working on.  He was disrespectful and rude in return.  I quietly and calmly said he didn't need to have an attitude; I was just explaining what we were doing, since he had been away when directions were given.  He continued with his attitude but got to work, so I walked away.  Of course the rest of the class had by this time all started talking.  So I questioned the class, "I thought this was to be a quiet work time or there would be no recess?"  Just then the TA came in, and everyone got quiet.

Things seemed to go ok for a while, but then quiet work time was over, and they were going to do a science experiment.  Apparently they had done this experiment on their own yesterday, but messed it all up; so the TA was going to do the experiment herself, with the students watching & helping.  Theoretically, this sounds feasible.  Not with D and his cronies all hanging out together, it's not.  They were pushing and shoving, not just each other, but other students as well, with D being the ring leader:  "Hey, S!  Push him!"  He'd whisper things like that, not realizing I was right behind him, and when I make my presence known, he'd give me the attitude.  "Whut?!"  Then of course, instead of paying attention to the experiment, he's goofing off and playing with some toy.  I asked him to put it away.  He refused, claiming he could still hear.  I said he needed to be watching with his eyeballs, and if he was playing with that he wasn't; so he put it away.  I took 2 steps away to write something on the board for the TA and he had it out again.  I said his name, he ignored me, I held out my hand for it and he pulled away.  I said, "Put it away or I will hold it til the end of the day," and he put it back in his pocket.  Back to the board to write more data down, and he had it out again.  I walked up to him and as he hastily tried to hide it, said, "Give it to me."  He gave it to me, but held on to it through a loop with one finger, not exactly letting go.  I told him to let go and he complained it was caught, yet when he straightened his finger it came right off, and I put it on the teacher's desk.

Of course this left him bored with nothing to distract him, and since the Ta's stance had been to tell him what to do and then ignore him 'til he disrupted the class again, I chose to let him be, standing at the board waiting for data to write down.  After a few moment he looks back at me and I am still ignoring him, not making faces or telling him to do anything, and he yells across the classroom, "What's that look for?!"  Thankfully, everyone ignored him.  One student did catch my eye, and we exchanged puzzled looks.  The experiment took nearly 45 minutes.  It was tedious.  And then there was a ditto.  And getting the students to explain their observations and conclusions was like pulling teeth.

Eventually, they muddled through it, got their report cards, got their back packs, and we got to go outside.  It was sunny and warm and just about every grade was out playing.  It was lovely.  After recess, the TA asked me to walk them up and told them to follow me.  I was shocked when they didn't!  Absolutely stunned when the moment she turned the corner, they took off running.  Was I *that* ineffective???  When I got back to the room, the phone was ringing, and the students were loud and running all over.  After answering the phone, I told the kids to sit quietly on their desks (their chairs get stacked in the afternoon), and they didn't listen.  They were standing in groups talking, running about, goofing off...  Eventually the TA came back, and the students were dismissed, and I got to go home, but guess what.  I'm the sub in the room tomorrow too... >.<

Of course the day wasn't over.  There was the returning to the car to find the cat pee smell had of course been fermenting in the warm sun!  Then coming home and discovering I put my bag in the pee on the ride home!  And then discovering it soaked through to my purse!  But there was Jacqueline, and she listened to everything, and cleaned up the cat pee while I checked the messages.  At 1ish my dad had called saying he had chest pains and a racing pulse and was calling 911 to get an ambulance to the hospital.  I immediately called his cell.  He answered.  Still in the ER, no idea what the problem is.  He didn't want me to come down; he said he'd call when they got him in a room.  He had an angiogram and had to have a stint put in just last month.

That was at 4 and I have been writing this ever since.  Not continuously, I've done other things...  I made myself a sundae, with a can of mandarin oranges, 1 scoop of ice cream, and the last of the hot fudge.  I looked for some info on who the real Kilroy was.  I stood at the window and listened to all the birds and the spring peepers.  I ate a column of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.  I tried to find plans for a flag book-type of scrapbook.  I read my email.  I talked to Jacqueline and a little bit with Mykel on IM.  I ate a small bowl of chili with cornbread.  (I think I ate too much junk food earlier.)

And Jacqueline said to me in an off-line message, "A theme in my unschooling groups seems to be about not losing today because you are worrying about tomorrow. I am trying to remember that - live it."  And it's a good thing to remember and try to live by.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.

Worry is wasting today's time cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with yesterday's troubles.

Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!

So I shall attempt to not worry about tomorrow, or even later when my dad calls, in fact, I think I am so tired right now, that all I can do is sleep...

My Vacation Week Thus Far

Yesterday was Hump Day and the downward slide to the weekend has begun. While to some this is a good thing (those who had work this week and are off on the weekend), for me it means the end of my vacation. Yes, I would have rather been working this week because we need the money, but since the schools are all closed, I have been determined to enjoy my forced time off.

I have watched movies, cleaned out the closet & my dresser, and am making progress cleaning off my desk and getting rid of the boxes underneath it. I have things for sale up on craigslist and hopefully will make some extra money despite not working. I have worked out, made a Vision Board, and looked for some music I enjoyed while in Chicoutimi. I even spent some time in bed reading.

I still have more movies to watch and more organizing to do, but I will be glad to get back to work on Monday.

omgomgomgomg

I have my first subbing job!!! OMGOMGOMG! I am scared $#!+)@$$!!! I haven't been in a classroom since May 06!!! And the school board hasn't even approved me yet!!!

/panic mode

:::deep breath:::

This is gonna rock! ^_^