Randomness!

I don't know why I am so tired lately... Maybe my BG is all out of whack. I wouldn't be surprised; I've been getting up so late and not taking my meds when I should...

I was offered the opportunity to *apply* for a position in a small special education school teaching science. It would mean interning in Special Ed in addition to the Science I'm already doing. I don't know if I want to do Special Ed, but it seems like all schools want people certified in it. I personally think it should be a part of our regular education, all the special modifications and things to watch for... One course out of all the courses we take hardly seems enough...

I crave variety and different cultures, but I am so scared of stepping outside my own little world... I'm scared to even leave my house some days; how crazy is that!? The books I've been choosing to read have been full of stories of mermaids and places like India and the Middle East; the music I've been listening to is drum-heavy and tribal, or full of singing I can't understand, but that resonates in me... I want to walk with sand between my toes, sun in my eyes, and the smell of the ocean in my nose; bright colored, flowing clothing on the people around me...

But then I think of the green waters of my own lakes and rivers, the warm rocks in the sun; I see the trees turning golden, the fields yellow and purple, knowing that soon everything will be yellow and orange and red and brown; the crisp scent of FALL will be in the air, and then... icy mornings, crunching to the car, noses red with the cold, bundling up in boots and coats... And I ACHE, my heart hurts, my throat closes, my eyes tear up, just THINKING about missing it for even one moment! INSANE!

Ok.... enough babbling...